2018/06/02

FORGIVENESS


One of my biggest flaws is probably that I find it very hard to truly forgive people. I may accept an apology and most surely behave like a social person towards them (saying hi on the street, maybe even having a little small talk) but that's about as far as it gets.


Trust is hard earned with me and once you lose it, we've got a big problem. I feel like most people just take too many things for granted nowadays. It's normal for them that you're there, that you like them, that you help whenever and however you can. It's a given that you don't leave and that you support them no matter what. And honestly, I don't mind doing all those things. I consider myself to be a very loyal person in general so if I tell you that I'm here for you, you can count on me no matter what happens. I don't expect people to give anything back except for a bit of gratitude and solidarity. A simple "thank you" is enough for me and I feel like it shouldn't even be a big deal to talk about but somehow we ended up in a world where showing gratitude and asking for forgiveness have become two impossible missions.


We're all human, we all have our flaws and problems, we all make mistakes. And that's completely fine! The difference between a forgivable mistake and a deal breaker is for me often how deliberately the actions were and how much the person took profit of my trust for her. The problem with trusting people and being let down is that it often is a vicious circle. You forgive once, they let you down a second time. Where's the end of all of it? And, is it really worth it?


I've learnt the hard way that at the end of the day, the best thing you can do is to build mainly on yourself. Of course, you need your friends (elsewise, where's even the point of all of this?), but people come and go all the time. Even the ones that you thought would stick around could maybe leave you at some point. Building on others and trusting them to stay around can make you vulnerable and be a hurtful experience. The only person that is always going to be around, no matter what is you, so that's where your priority should lie. Sounds egoistic? Well, it is. But what other choice do we have?


Don't get me wrong, some people definitely deserve your forgiveness. But considering the bigger picture, try to think about the long-run: how big is the chance that you'll get hurt again? And is there a way that you'll fully trust that person again at some point? Sometimes we don't want to admit that some people are just not for us and, even though we love them, we better live apart from each other. But forcing friendships, relationships and co never work out. 


Maybe I am too harsh and I surely have to still work on the 'forgiving people that deserve it'-part. We definitely all deserve a second chance, but, as 13 Reasons Why's Clay said in the latest episode: you can love someone and still let them go. And that's what I chose to do 99% of the time. Because sometimes, it's easier to love somebody from a distance than to constantly put up with inevitable conflict of opinions.


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3 comments

  1. I totally agree with everything you said. Sometimes it is hard to forgive people, but some people deserve forgiveness.
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  2. Those pictures look so good ! I have always a hard time forgiving people !
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  3. Ah this is such a lovely post with beautiful photos - forgiveness is key in everything as it allows you to move on!

    Layla x

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